Feeding the Desk

I am a clerical worker. I sit right next to the receptionist. Her desk is like a thrift store. There is so much crap, I have had trouble focusing on my job duties when I've had to sit there to fill in for her. She has stuffed animals, fabric flowers, figurines, desk toys brought by various supply reps visiting, stickers with stars and happy faces (for reasons that are unclear). I am tired of it and considered grabbing something every now and then and throwing it in the trash.

I'm too much of an asshole to do that, though. I've decided to take the opposite approach. Every week, I am going to add something to her desk. I stopped at a dollar store today and spent a little over four dollars on crap for her desk. I swear, if I find a big, dead, juicy beetle, I will scoop that baby into an envelope and put it on her desk, too.

I am wondering how long it will take before she notices there's stuff on her desk she doesn't recognize? Then what, will she throw that stuff away or keep it on her desk?

I'm also doing this because she's kind of a bitch. I wanted to be clear on that in case anyone thinks I'm going to pick on some angelic woman. Nope. I'm just being an asshole to an asshole. I'll update what happens.

Bwahahahaha!!!

Move along, nothing to see here

Well, isn't this sad? I started this blog almost a month ago and don't seem to have anything to say. Appearances are deceiving. though. I have a lot to say, a lot to write about, but I'm having trouble sorting through all the ideas in my head. I feel like I have a raging case of ADHD. I also can't decide how open I want to be about my life. Granted, the odds are no one will find this blog and, if people do, they will just glide right on by it, but still, what if I did grow a small audience? Even if I only had 2 or 3 regular readers someday, how much do I want them to know?

I have to be careful. There is a certain amount of privacy required of me. I would definitely write some about my work life, so I need to be discreet from the beginning. I think I'll start out overly cautious about everything, until I get comfortable, then gradually reveal a little more as time goes on.

So, to begin with, I'm not going to speak about where I'm from, exactly where I work, or anything else identifying. There are also legal reasons why I have to be careful about some of the things at my job, so I may need to change some identifying information in my stories in order to protect other people, as well.

If I had to come up with a disclaimer I think it would be this: I will probably offend you somehow, so just don't read this.

You have been warned.